Team Turrill: So Long Preschool

The Story of Me and Preschool

Once upon a time I'd break out in a cold sweat every time Ben would casually mention me going back to work once the kids were in school. I couldn't imagine keeping up the pace of classroom teaching...I just didn't want to. "I'd rather work at Starbucks" I'd say.

Then, two winters ago, when Bode was a preschooler at Small Wonders, the preschool suddenly found themselves one teacher down. Something pulled at my heart to jump in. It was two days a week for 2 1/2 hours...from February to May. If I hated it, the stakes were low. I did enjoy flexing that teacher muscle again, and when I was in the classroom I knew I was tapping in to something God had created inside of me.

So I volunteered.

And it was great. My sweet director helped me so much and made everything so easy. It wasn't even a problem being Bode's teacher. We finished out the year before I knew it and I was sold. Looking back, God was so gracious to gently lead me back into the workforce in such a way that wasn't scary (or that I didn't even realize was happening). He knew just what I needed.

Being that the spring was so successful, I signed up for another year. This time teaching four days a week. I felt the weight of responsibility a little more this time, having to start a school year from scratch and having lost my sweet director, but it was still wonderful. I loved being "Ms. Mackenzie." I grew a lot. I realized that even though I taught kinder and am a mom, there was still so much to know. I realized that I had weaknesses I wanted to grow in, both in knowledge and experience. I took SIX credit hours of classes to keep my license current. I fell in love with my little preschoolers and felt them take up a place in my heart.

But I also scrambled.

I began to loathe the middle of the day reporting time...not ever enough time to really accomplish anything before I had to drop Bode off at his school and make it to mine. This was tough, considering I still was trying to be successful with my photography business. I knew I could juggle, but I was constantly letting balls drop. I began to see my limits.

But, I persevered.

Then I was offered a very random opportunity to help with a new online publication starting up in Longmont. It felt too good to be true. I could brag about our town that I love and take pictures...and get paid for it. Suddenly, I was at a crossroads. Ben (being the realistic one of our partnership) could see that I couldn't do all three...photographer, online contributor AND preschool teacher. AND mom and wife. And, I could feel the demands of our kids' lives and schedules become increasingly more demanded. As much of a blessing that it was to rejoin the workforce, it had led me on a gradual drift from my true priorities. Also, my introverted tendencies were becoming more and more apparent. I would pour out all day, then have nothing more to give at night. I needed some quiet to be fully charged.

So, with a heavy heart I knew the right choice was to leave preschool. Simply, I needed to be investing in what brought more harmony to our home (and more money for the work). It was sad, but I instantly felt like I had more to give my family. I look forward to the fall when I can be a photographer and spend the days doing that, and the nights carting my children around like a school bus. Life is funny, with different twists, turns, detours. But I love where it takes me when I'm willing to jump and go all in. That also means jumping out when the time is right.

Farewell preschool. What a blessing you've been. And who knows? Maybe I'll be back. xo