Blog Rant

Hi. I need to rant. If you were here looking for cute kid pictures, and don't feel like listening, I understand. Just close this window and come back another time. But, if I rant here, maybe it will save me from festering about this subject any more...


I take a lot of things personally. I hate that about myself. I wish that I was one of those people who could just let things slide off their chest...I'm working on it, but currently I don't live that reality. Things stick to me. Like this story that happened to me the other day:


Mimi, Bode and I had been out all day having a crazy morning at Monkey Bizness (I mentioned it before...it was CAR-RAZ-ZAY! ) We were all worn out, but had gotten the call that we were having our first showing on our house that afternoon. So I packed the kids up in the car, parked them in the garage for a second while I ran into do a quick "spot check" and get any necessities we'd need for our next hour of being displaced from the domicile (like a thousand kid books on tape and Mimi's pony. Very important things. I think I even grabbed bottle of waters and some snacks, like we were heading out of civilization or something instead of just driving around Longmont). Anyways, it was already quite the day. Bode had probably slept a total of 10 minutes all day and I was aching for the little guy's need for sleep that wasn't being fulfilled. By the time I got back in the car and started driving around, he fell asleep! Phew! I was determined to go somewhere that Mimi and I could eat, and could park him in his car seat and let him sleep. We pulled into Noodle and Co, and I gingerly unloaded him and claimed a corner booth as ours for us to exist for the next hour and a half. It was perfection. Food, a cozy spot and quiet! Until the serene quiet was broken by a woman in the booth next to us. She was sitting and eating with what looked like her teenage daughter. My ears perked up because she was repeating the word "car seat" over and over. My back was literally practically touching hers as I sat Bode down. As I tuned in, I could hear her going on and on about how she "can't believe how moms these days keep their kids in those car seats" and she "NEVER did this" "why can't they get the stroller out" "it restricts their movement" and again "she NEVER did this"...my cheeks started to burn. Maybe she didn't see that I was literally RIGHT there next to her, with my kid in his car seat. No, she did see. That's what triggered her conversation. After the day of battle that we had already had, I wanted to just crumple up into a pool of tears. Then I wanted to say something (because I'm not even kidding, she was STILL going on and on). So I just stood as close to her as I could so she could see that I was listening. That was as aggressive as I could get. I think her daughter (who was facing me) pulled out of the conversation because she noticed my intent. Here was my baby, who hadn't slept all day, sleeping in his seat. God BLESS those things! Who was she?!? I was so upset after she got up and left that I emailed my mom (didn't call because I didn't want to start crying and losing it in front of Mimi!!!). I wish that I didn't care what an overly opinionated woman I don't know thinks, but it got me at my weakest. My mom smartly suggested that I shrug it off (but not before I went and slashed her tires...thanks Mom xo). 


It's just got me thinking. Why do people have to form opinions about EVERYTHING? But even more so, why are we moms so judgy?!? I'm including myself in that, because even if it's not out loud in a Noodles and Co, I still think things all of the time. I think it's because a) our job is such a public one. Everyone gets to see us "mother" everywhere we go: in the grocery store aisle, in the school parking lot, in a restaurant, in our friend's home. It seems like whether we like it or not, it's always on display. And b) because we all have our insecurities about it. Are we doing it right? Well, if I can see that person a, is CLEARLY not doing it right, maybe that is a bigger clue into how I'm doing. Man oh man. I was thankful for the Noodles and Co experience (as it will forever be referred to in my life) because it was a good reminder for me. You NEVER know what's going on in another person's life. That woman couldn't possibly know that we had just experienced the longest morning of our lives, and now were forced to make that little booth our home for the next hour. Or that today I was the mom who breastfed in a bathroom stall, tried on a skirt over my jeans and wrapped a last minute birthday present in the parking lot. Life throws a lot at you. I am thankful for how parenting makes us humble. NEVER act or think like you have it together! That's just asking a three year old's tantrum in public! The other thing I thought about after this instance though, is how quickly we can get through a certain stage of parenting and forget how agonizing it can be. Here was this woman sitting with her self-sufficient daughter having an adult conversation. Clearly she forgot the emotional and physical toll of  lugging around little ones. Again, I hope to use this as just another chapter in my book to myself of what I hope to never do to a young mom, when I too, have raised these kids up and experience amnesia about this stage of life. And thank you to every older woman who's given that gentle, knowing look while my preschooler throws a fit. Or every woman who's NOT jumped in with a smart quip and smile as I'm sweating my brains out trying to restrain that said child. Or the librarian who called upstairs to the desk to have the book I was looking for brought down as she watched me keep my stroller moving back and forth, back and forth to keep the newborn in it from waking up. Thank you. It's never unnoticed or unappreciated. 


*I really did wish I had some kind of something to say to that woman though...you always think of it afterwards, don't you. Here's my comeback. "Oh yeah! Well you probably put your kids in one of those deathtrap dropside cribs and fed them from BPA -laced bottles. So there!!!!" Pretty good, huh? ;)