backflow

Lately Ben has said more than once about our current stage of life:

"it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." It really can't be summed up any better. Best of times: snuggling a little boy with fine blonde hair who shakes his body to any music he hears, waves exuberantly upon anyone's exit, searches out sports when it's on any TV anywhere and can tell you what a baseball player "says" ("wooosh" with arm like a bat) and basketball player ("swoosh" and dunking motion), who loves his cat Henry so much that has started to rub his head against someone when he loves them (mimicking the cat we think :) and who I can't help but rub faces with to smell his sweet baby boy breath as we carry him slumbering from the car -AND- a four year old girl who just seems more beautiful and girlish every day. Who will put on dance recitals in our living room on our window seat with a spotlight and Pandora, who can write her name, "mom" and "no," who uses grown up colloquialisms so fast I can't even record them, who remembers EVERYTHING as well as every dog breed known to man, who loves her brother and craft time and wrestling with her daddy and sleeps through the night, dresses herself, goes to the bathroom, doesn't wear a pull up (all things I will NEVER take for granted!!!).  

But, the worst of times: a little boy who's getting his molars and hasn't really slept a night through in a long time, a little boy who is a danger to himself at every turn, every staircase, every chair pulled up next to a table (or every table for that matter!), every utensil, every ledge (you get the idea). A little boy who is on a steady diet of fruit snacks so mommy can go to the chiropractor, the grocery store, etc....who takes AT LEAST fifteen minutes to dress because he fights it so bad, then poops minutes later or spills cold coffee on himself, only begging to have me repeat the whole circus all over again. Who thinks it's funny and laughs when he pulls his socks and shoes off as I put them on (and also seems to think the word "NO" is hilarious too). More worst times: a little four year old who says "OKAAAAAAAY MOOOOM" in the way I that I thought was only reserved for a teenager, a four year old who throws just as many fits as a two and a half year old, and has me losing my cool and temper and breaking all my rules of parenting in one single morning. A four year old who sometimes can't seem to be alone for one single minute and starts to feel like the most annoying roommate ever (you know the kind, the one that follows you around, asking questions about everything, wanting to do everything with you and doesn't take the hint when you need a second by yourself??!!) A four year old who is so emotionally tuned in that even when I'm using my "calm mommy voice" to mask my inner annoyance, she can feel it, calls me out on it, gets mad at my for it and throws a giant, PMS-y type tantrum. 

So there it is. Living in the amazing dichotomy of parenting. The unbearable moments and breathtakingly beautiful moments come in and out like the tide swell; and I try to breathe and stay even in those moments (but often either feel like singing in glee or hitting the panic button and screaming out to the lady in the Target parking lot, next to me that the sky is falling. Poor Ben gets the texts that reflect this ;)

I've been excited to upload our beach pictures, some fun fall moments and some Bode photo shoots, and am realizing that if I get an extended period at the computer, I need to use it. So they may come in a big gulp of "blog catch up." Enjoy :)

*****

(or they may not come for more weeks...stay tuned ;)